I have been bitten by the research bug and I just can't stop. Getting IRB approval for testing my ideas on humans, however, takes too long. Thankfully, with money, there is a solution. There is this thing others call "working" at a job, this job thing allows you to attract test subjects with someone else's money (the best kind of spending). Thus, you are surrounded by people paid by the hours to be in the same place as you. This captive audience is legally called coworkers, and ethically called humans, but for me, they are research test subjects. People paid to help me prove my ideas, solve the world's greatest mysteries, and answer the most challenging questions in the universe.
Since I may not keep this job thing for long, as it involves working, I will need to tackle the hardest problems first. Are Traegers real smokers?
Since I may not keep this job thing for long, as it involves working, I will need to tackle the hardest problems first. Are Traegers real smokers?
I am the Ultimate Pit Master. As a world-class Pit Master, I can smoke ANYTHING. I mean anything. Easy stuff like brisket and pulled pork and slightly harder things like soup dumplings, stuffed mushrooms, or croquembouche. So when one of your Texan coworkers laments, "You can't smoke that"; you have to throw down. And as they listen to the list of things I have Traegered, immediately they charge into the fray and call heresy, triggering a cook-off. In the dynamic landscape of outdoor cooking, the debate surrounding Offset smokers and pellet grills, particularly Traeger models, has ignited intense and passionate discussions among barbecue enthusiasts and laypeople alike. Both methods make advances and trade-offs in the areas of flavor, versatility, temperature control, and the overall cooking experience. I am a Texan too (Go Aggies!), so Pit and Offset smoking are gospel. I, however, lead an exciting and adventurous life as a wealthy blogger. I could pay someone to run my smokehouse, but where is the hands-on fun in that. I had the time before I became rich and famous (it's such a curse) but between needing to lazy around on my yacht in the French Riviera and taking calls from world leaders needing my insight to keep things running, I find it hard to sit undisturbed for 14 hours tending a firebox. So in an act of treason, I have adopted the most city-slicker device of all time, the Traeger.
So why is this such a big deal? The process of using an Offset smoker is an art form, requiring skill, attention, and patience. A hands-on approach fostering a unique, personally rewarding, essentially spiritual cooking experience. Traeger grills, on the other hand, provide an automated zero-engagement experience, destroying the connection between the pit boss and his smoked foods. Traditional Offset smokers, renowned for their ability to impart a distinct smoky flavor to meats, honor the true nature of the brisket. In contrast, Traeger grills have earned a reputation for being quick, cheap, and easy; attributes you don't want to associate with high-quality, competition-winning barbeque. However, at the end of the day, you must answer the question - what do you really want? Answer: A smoked brisket so good you want to slap your mamma. So if you didn't know your meat was sacrificed to idols, does it matter? If you could eat a brisket that transcends human existence and it was also cooked on a Traeger, does it matter? Did I just make the biggest mistake of my life?
Let's get into some fundamentals. Both grills use indirect heat and smoke circulation to create their flavors. Off-set smokers produce authentic smoky flavor because, duh, there is literal burning wood inside making smoke. Traeger grills, relying on hybrid wood pellets, thus struggle to replicate the smoldering wood concept. A large stick of oat will burn very differently than 9000 tiny pellets of oak. The complex combustion process in Offset smokers contributes to a more nuanced, well-rounded, bold flavor. Some argue pellets have coatings, or additives, or softwood fillers, etc. But if you buy any reputable brand, at the end of the day, how the pellet was shipped and stored will have more effect on the cook than what may or may not be "added" to the pellet. And no amount of perfect shipping and dry storage will make a 1/4-in-diameter pellet of compressed wood shavings mimic the burn and smoke of an actual stick of wood. So we are talking apples vs oranges on fuel here.
Beyond fuel, precise temperature control is the crucible of the process. With perfection we achieve brisket results worthy of the gods; but too hot, too cold, or too variable and you might as well just burn your money in the smoker. Offset smokers, with their manual control by design, offer a very hands-on approach. Experienced Pit Masters harness this to create the perfect cooking environment. Do you think any Joe, Dick, or Harry can "become" a Pit Master? No! There is a reason Offset smoker users earn a formal title. One does not become a Pit Master by reading a quick start guide, just as one does not become a Neurosurgeon by googling brain pictures. You must apprentice for years with a Pit Master before you are trusted to cook on your own. Many have failed miserably in their journeys, and even more, have given up in shame never to smoke again. (it is hard to know if never learning to smoke is worse than smoking on a Traeger, some would argue no). With an Offset, you face a steep learning curve, that even when mastered, requires constant intervention and forethought to compensate for relative humidity, outdoor weather and temperature, and even the condition the wood was stored in. Pit Masters face a wide margin for error with every single cook. Nothing will stop you from letting your firebox die out while you get another beer or prevent you from adding one too many pieces of 18% moisture oak on a day not as cool as you thought. Small oversights trigger dramatic temperature swings that have detrimental effects on the final product. Here is where Traeger grills have the leg up. Equipped with digital controllers and precision pellet feeders, little brains are needed to maintain consistent temperatures. You want 215 degrees in your Traeger, just set the thermostat and wait. Sun, rain, three sheets to the wind - the smoker will hold that temp in a tight range for as long as you keep feeding it pellets. I don't want to say you always get perfect results, but if your pellets are dry and you do your recommenced ash cleanouts, you will get very consistent results.
After all this jaw-wagging, I'm sure you are dying to know, what about my coworkers? Well regardless of what smoker I have, I make the best brisket on earth. I am not limited by Traeger's diminished smoke flavor or Offset's tedious hands-on approach and Grand Canyon-sized margin for error. The gantlet has been thrown, I must defend my honor and title of Pit Master. I was up for the challenge, but an offset used by a discerning barbeque connoisseur vs my Traeger would indeed be a David vs Goliath showdown. The only thing leveling the playing field was Costco, the cheapest way to get a 19-pound brisket.
Beyond fuel, precise temperature control is the crucible of the process. With perfection we achieve brisket results worthy of the gods; but too hot, too cold, or too variable and you might as well just burn your money in the smoker. Offset smokers, with their manual control by design, offer a very hands-on approach. Experienced Pit Masters harness this to create the perfect cooking environment. Do you think any Joe, Dick, or Harry can "become" a Pit Master? No! There is a reason Offset smoker users earn a formal title. One does not become a Pit Master by reading a quick start guide, just as one does not become a Neurosurgeon by googling brain pictures. You must apprentice for years with a Pit Master before you are trusted to cook on your own. Many have failed miserably in their journeys, and even more, have given up in shame never to smoke again. (it is hard to know if never learning to smoke is worse than smoking on a Traeger, some would argue no). With an Offset, you face a steep learning curve, that even when mastered, requires constant intervention and forethought to compensate for relative humidity, outdoor weather and temperature, and even the condition the wood was stored in. Pit Masters face a wide margin for error with every single cook. Nothing will stop you from letting your firebox die out while you get another beer or prevent you from adding one too many pieces of 18% moisture oak on a day not as cool as you thought. Small oversights trigger dramatic temperature swings that have detrimental effects on the final product. Here is where Traeger grills have the leg up. Equipped with digital controllers and precision pellet feeders, little brains are needed to maintain consistent temperatures. You want 215 degrees in your Traeger, just set the thermostat and wait. Sun, rain, three sheets to the wind - the smoker will hold that temp in a tight range for as long as you keep feeding it pellets. I don't want to say you always get perfect results, but if your pellets are dry and you do your recommenced ash cleanouts, you will get very consistent results.
After all this jaw-wagging, I'm sure you are dying to know, what about my coworkers? Well regardless of what smoker I have, I make the best brisket on earth. I am not limited by Traeger's diminished smoke flavor or Offset's tedious hands-on approach and Grand Canyon-sized margin for error. The gantlet has been thrown, I must defend my honor and title of Pit Master. I was up for the challenge, but an offset used by a discerning barbeque connoisseur vs my Traeger would indeed be a David vs Goliath showdown. The only thing leveling the playing field was Costco, the cheapest way to get a 19-pound brisket.
My coworkers love to eat food almost as much as I do, so under the guise of a potluck, the stage was set. Knowing what flavor the consumer is seeking is really the key to the success in any cook-off. If the eater is seeking the rich smoky flavor required by law in the South, you must cook Offset. Yuppies and Yanks, however, have less developed palates, they do not appreciate what smoke can do to a brisket. They use paprika or garlic on meats in the greatest act of degradation and debauchery. So while my Texan coworker was right about her Offset, some of my other coworkers were too immature to appreciate the transcendental experience of eating offset smoked brisket. As the complexity of the flavor increases, so too does the chance my coworkers will not prefer the results. So, I had to leverage the enduring appeal of traditional smoking methods combined with extracurricular spices in a Traeger to deliver an unexciting but fabulous-tasting brisket.
We used ranked-choice voting because if it's good enough for Portland public office, it's good enough for briskets. To my dismay - it was a tie. My Traeger and her Offset met head to head and we both won - an acceptable outcome. I however argue I was able to collect more 2nd place votes so I am the overall winner. I can make a brisket that is not too polarizing to overwhelm novice consumers but also contains the flavors needed to satisfy barbecue consumption enthusiasts seeking an authentic and rich culinary journey; the mark of a true Pit Master. That was easy, you are welcome, go buy a Traeger (you're welcome)
Now, for my next experiment, I think I will study mind control.
We used ranked-choice voting because if it's good enough for Portland public office, it's good enough for briskets. To my dismay - it was a tie. My Traeger and her Offset met head to head and we both won - an acceptable outcome. I however argue I was able to collect more 2nd place votes so I am the overall winner. I can make a brisket that is not too polarizing to overwhelm novice consumers but also contains the flavors needed to satisfy barbecue consumption enthusiasts seeking an authentic and rich culinary journey; the mark of a true Pit Master. That was easy, you are welcome, go buy a Traeger (you're welcome)
Now, for my next experiment, I think I will study mind control.