Sweet Nectar of Life

I have been bitten by the research bug and I just can't stop. Getting IRB approval for testing my ideas on humans, however, takes too long. Thankfully, with money, there is a solution. There is this thing others call "working" at a job, this job thing allows you to attract test subjects with someone else's money (the best kind of spending). Thus, you are surrounded by people paid by the hours to be in the same place as you. This captive audience is legally called coworkers, and ethically called humans, but for me, they are research test subjects. People paid to help me prove my ideas, solve the world's greatest mysteries, and answer the most challenging questions in the universe.      Since I may not keep this job thing for long, as it involves working, I will need to tackle the hardest problems first. Are Traegers real smokers?  I am the Ultimate Pit Master. As a world-class Pit Master, I can smoke ANYTHING. I mean anything. Easy stuff like brisket and pulled