Always Have An Exit Strategy

Well, you all know it's coming so this shouldn't be a surprise. Society as we know it will end and all that will remain are villages of people fighting each other for the ever-dwindling supplies in abandoned grocery stores. In this dystopian world, money and power won't save you; dollar bills will only be good to burn for heat and survivors will only know you by your skills. People will have to make their own clothes, grow their own food, do their own dental fillings. Billions of people will die. In this grim future, we must answer the final question! - How will you pay for haircuts?

The central world bank/government/theme park (ie: The Man) will have control over all the boring old currencies, and the internet, and your access to clean power. So obviously you need crypto. Now I know what you are thinking, and you are probably right. But let's just forget that for now. Let's instead take comfort in the knowledge that nerds from the Magical Crypto Conference have it all figured out. You won't need anything from The Man to use your sweet sweet crypto. And yes, I am again reading your mind, and yes, the Magical Crypto Conference is real and yes, they know their stuff, and yes the leaders even have their own cryptos (crypti?) I don't know but as you will see, it doesn't matter

Back to your future bullet-riddled, poisoned water, dark sky reality at the end of the world. Still, as always, I know what you are thinking. Yes, we can send crypto without banks, the internet, or power. Here is how:

Jim Bob, in the fallout shelter his grandpappy built during The Great 2023 Pandemic, has a Ham radio. We can use that to transmit the coins around the world. 

A spotty but working decentralized SMS network will surely be rebuilt by teenage girls desperate for gossip and a need to escape their younger siblings. You can use that for shorter distance transfers. 

All else fails, Jim Bob could pay you with paper crypto for the 3 eggs you got him on your last run beyond the DMZ. 

I know what you're thinking (Let's just assume I will always know what you are thinking, It's exhausting talking about how awesome I am at reading your mind so I'm going to stop reminding you). Yes, paper money. I know I said paper money would be useless, but I should have been more specific. Paper money backed by The Man will be useless; unless you are willing to sell your soul to them for a little electric heat, upgraded bandwidth, and a fun afternoon at a theme park.

Now you know. So what are you going to do about it? Well for starters, get some coin. (click HERE to start; you're welcome Binance) Also, don't get some hot new flash in the pan thing worth 0.0000000000000000000001 USD, it might go up, but 90% of them will go nowhere. A lot like the US dollars you used to buy them. And yes, if you are lucky your crypto might make a few million in The Man dollars, but if it's too obscure you won't be able to spend it on the other side. Stick to well-established crypto and keep investing consistently. And always be ready to pull your non-custodial crypto wallet offline at a moment's notice.

Ideally, as a society, we will pick the best crypto and convert all crypti to it using the old crumbling systems before power is completely taken from us. The one coin will make for easy spending. After we force everyone to Ethereum, we can ostracize anyone that does not use our coins. We will know who they are because they can't get a haircut without our crypto. Why not bitcoin? They are too big. When we take our crypto offline on masse, Bitcoin will be taken over by The Man, using an AI, in an attempt to regain control of the people. He won’t care about your Sushi, Tipsy Santa, or Poopsicle, (yes, those are/were all real crypto). The best strategic move is attacking the biggest coin. We will have to abandon it quickly as the world collapse begins. Anyone using it at the end of the world will be marked as owned by The Man. Be ready, we can't save everyone and nobody is giving away free haircuts.

Of course, to keep everything going, we will need to set up a private network, this will maintain our blockchain. It will work with any Wi-Fi router self-powered by nuclear fusion. They will be everywhere but most users will not know what to do with them without the internet. (Wi-Fi IS NOT Internet) And yes, for only 3 eggs we can get all the routers we need. We will link them into a small network that spiders out. They will need to stay off the main grid but we can make some hubs to allow for a larger reach, eventually around the world. Hidden in abandoned buildings, as there will be many to pick from, we will expand in the shadows without notice.

Monitoring all usage aggressively will be important to avoid sabotage by The Man AI. Anyone caught tampering in any way with our network will be kicked out of our village and their crypto forfeited. They will have no other option but to find a new village. Without our crypto, however, they will not be able to get a haircut. So they will have to sell their soul to get more crypto or be ostracized by their new village. And yes, we will use the forfeited crypto to improve our community as repayment for the wrongs committed against us and we will also give some to those who cannot afford the 3 eggs to get paper crypto. It's not like we are going to hold it for ourselves or something

So with the power of our crypto, you will be able to get a cut and shave from the best barbershop this side of the radiation cloud; and The Man won't be able to touch you.

Even if other villages pop up using alt-coins, we will just charge them exorbitant alt-coin exchange rates for haircuts and/or withhold our eggs. We will then keep all their coins and burn the keys until the alt-coin runs out; then they will have to join our blockchain. And yes, I know I said The Man dollars would be the ones on fire, but this is a special case and you have to stop interrupting me with questions. Over time, our village will become the most powerful. With that great power, we will overthrow The Man, finishing what the end of the world started. I don't think it will help the ecology recover faster, but it will make getting eggs easier.

Short answer to the final question: crypto. You will have to use it to pay for haircuts and countless other things when the world ends. Get some today and you will easily be texting 3 Wei to your neighbor so he can hire a builder to fix his safety fence that you drove into while backing up in the dark without lights to evade detection by drones while collecting eggs. Overall, the world's end will work out just fine like it always has. And after The Man is overthrown, we might even open a theme park this time.